Writing takes time and effort. I love it, but that doesn’t mean it’s always easy. I have so many things I want to write about, so many stories and ideas and emails and blog posts for this thing, but I never seem to find the time to actually sit down and type them up and actualise them, and then I lose them, because once the passion to write is lost, your writing instantly loses its quality.
I find myself busy these days, surprisingly – cooking and doing homework and organising school and home and crying and talking to people and finally, sleeping, sweet sweet sleep. It used to be that I wrote these posts, and lots of my fiction work, late at night, well, comparatively so. I’d be up at 11.30 or something, typing furiously, not caring that I had to get up at 6.30 the next morning because I wasn’t really tired yet, and in any case, no one minded if I yawned a little in class. But now, I can’t seem to keep my eyes open past 10, and my family complains about me being over-stressed, and prescribe more rest for me, and I just want to sleep all day anyway. And so my writing gets neglected, as I opt to sleep instead of write.
A lame excuse, perhaps, but presumably overall the sleep is better for my health, both physically and emotionally speaking? If I write, I get maybe 6 hours of sleep a day, and that honestly isn’t enough for me to function properly. Even those few hours of sleep aren’t always restful, as since I’ve started at my new school, I find myself constantly waking in the middle of the night, then drifting into uneasy dreams about being at school, only to have to go face the awful reality of it all when I wake up.
Anyway. I’ve managed to spend a good ten minutes expounding on why I haven’t written much, when all I wanted to say in the first place was that I have a million things I want to write. And this wasn’t one of them. But I don’t know when I will have a proper chance to write more, perhaps this weekend, but maybe not, as I’m going to actually do things today, instead of loaf around at home like usual.
Just to remind myself, and maybe to try and force myself to write about them, here’s a few topics I keep wanting to address. I believe I mentioned some of them before, whenever I last wrote a list akin to this one.
- School vs education
- How much I truly detest school at the moment
- Optimism and positiveness
- Amanda Palmer’s #TheArtOfAsking TED video and my feelings on it
- My future, and a discussion of careers and the changing workforce
- The wonders of Germany
- My poetic soul (I’ve decided I have one, for now)
- My grandfather and my ties to Hungary
- An open letter to my old classmates – help.
So. Quite a few things. I hope I can at least get through a few before abandoning the list into that ever-growing pile of ‘Things I WAS Going To Get Done Waaaaay Before Now’
Now I’ve been writing for 15 minutes, so that seems as good a note as any to leave off with. I shall hope to see you soon with some rambling thoughts on one of the above topics!