Women AND men can be funny AND smart AND gorgeous AND talented in hundreds of other ways…all at the same time! Oh, and I’m jealous of people like that.

I was reading a Cracked article, called ‘5 Ways You’re Accidentally Making Everyone Hate You‘ and #4 was “You Accidentally Asserted Power Over Them” and it also had a link to this article about pretty female comedians pretending not to be.

And in view of my confusing post yesterday, it made me stop and think about something that’s wrong with out society.

We’re not allowed to be proud of ourselves properly.

You’re not allowed to say, I’m prettier than you. I’m smarter than you. I’m thinner than you. I’m a better writer, a better singer, better at sports, better at cooking, a better artist – whatever it is that you’re good at. You just can’t. Oh, I don’t mean that I want people to rub it in my face that they’re better than me, not at all. I don’t want people boasting about themselves.


I do want people to be able to tell the truth. To actually be honest. To not have to lie and say ‘Haha, I’m awful at this!’ just so as not to hurt people’s feelings.

Girls shouldn’t have to call themselves ugly, nerds shouldn’t have to call themselves dumb, you know what I mean.

People should be able to say “Let me do the art for this project, I’m a better artist than the rest of you.” Maybe that’s not the nicest way to say it, maybe it’s better to just say you’re good at art. Whatever. Point is, so long as it’s true, you need to be able to say things like this without people calling you boastful and conceited.

Ugh. Look, maybe I’m wrong, maybe this is the wrong solution. Whatever. Let’s move onto comedians instead.

If you say that women can’t be attractive as well as funny, or smart, or talented in any way other than maybe musically or in acting – fuck you. Seriously. No, not all comedians are the most beautiful, but that doesn’t mean they’re not funny. However, just because a comedian is funny, doesn’t mean they can’t be absolutely gorgeous as well.

Possibly, there’s a kind of myth, that a woman only turns to humour because her looks weren’t good enough. I don’t know if that’s true, but if it is, goddamn it guys, how long does it take for the message to sink in? A woman’s talents are not limited by her beauty, or in fact affected in any way whatsoever. It works both ways, you can’t stereotype pretty women as stupid, either. Hey, look at Natalie Portman, who’s known for, basically, being super hot, and a great actress. She’s also really smart. None of these things are mutually exclusive, you see.

Jealousy and self-loathing makes us want people to be as bad or worse than us. Trust me, I feel the same way. If being smart or funny is your only major achievement or advantage, seeing others who have that AND beauty or fitness or a great singing voice or whatever else as well, is bitter. Even if you have a whole list of good things you possess, seeing someone with more is hard.

So, for whatever reason, beauty is one of those things which we are incredibly jealous of in others. And stupidly, because of this we just say “Oh, well they couldn’t possibly be good at anything else, then.” Because we are so scared of them being better than us. I know I’m terrible for doing this, I constantly disregard other people’s achievements as worthless in order to make myself feel better about not having achieved the same things. I’m sure it’s some stupid human instinct we all have. Still, that doesn’t mean we have to give into it. We can work against it for the better of humanity, can’t we? Yes, we can. Because I said so.


Next time you find yourself jealous of someone else’s talents, instead of complaining about how obviously they’re cheating somehow, or how it doesn’t really count because of this and that, instead, think about how you could make yourself better.

Also, remember that simply by following those instructions you are bettering yourself, thus giving you something to applaud yourself for as you ponder your continuing self-improvement! Yay!

Hey, I don’t know you. It might work.


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