OK. I need to change myself. Here’s what happened today.
We got back a maths test in which we had to draw graphs after being given a brief explanatory sentence. And I had only gotten 20.5/32 on it.
A lot of what I got wrong was stuff I knew I didn’t know, so I didn’t mind about that. What annoyed me was my graphs.
They were both given half a mark out of a possible two. And far out. Why?
Oh. Why not listen to what my teacher says? “Oh, I didn’t actually read it, just checked to see if it looked like the others which were right.”
Yeah. Great, right? Anyway. I knew I’d done it right – just differently to the majority of my class, but correctly nonetheless. And I ended up spending the rest of the lesson arguing with this teacher. And I mean arguing – I was kind of a total bitch, especially for me.
I sighed, glared, called him an idiot under my breath, made sarcastic comments, was generally very rude – in fact, at one point, I literally just left the room. He said something I found very stupid and I just turned on my heel and walked out the door, went and got a drink from my bag, breathed a bit, and returned. According to my friends, he asked where and why I had gone and they had to admit that they weren’t sure. But then my friends asked me if I’d gone outside to stop myself from hitting him and well, they were right. I felt like I was going to either hit him or really yell at him and neither were good ideas. So leaving was kind of for the best.
We argued over logic, variables, graphs. Basically, I think differently to the rest of my class, and him, apparently, so I drew the graph in a different yet still quite correct way – and upon consulting my family discovered they all drew it the same way I did. But my teacher wouldn’t listen to my reasoning – he rarely does. He also made out as though I was complaining for the benefit of a few marks, instead of trying to make him see sense.
The whole while I argued with the teacher, my classmates would be nearby, laughing and occasionally pointing at me because I’m a geeky goody two shoes and was arguing with the teacher, a lot. That kinda didn’t help me make a good case.
Later a group came up to me, and one asked why I was so angry – a second later, he snapped up as though remembering who he was talking to – and ran away! I know he was doing it to be dramatic and get a laugh, but still….it was Cooper by the way. I have a reputation. Not a good one either.
I’m so glad, but somehow I didn’t get into any trouble from the teacher – though I’m sure I was discussed in the staffroom at lunchtime. But seriously. This was not good. I am not good. I should have been punished, as much as I would dislike that.
I think it’s probably my lack of sleep that’s been making me so reckless and unreasonable. And yet I do nothing to go to sleep earlier – it’s 1.20am and I’m still talking online and still have like half an hour after I stop talking because I have to wash my hair and stuff. I’m ridiculous. Seriously. It’s my last two weeks of school and I’m spending them talking online and being super-tired at school. Practice for later years I guess?